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i'm back!!!helloooo.....guess whos back..back again...i'm back......WUHUUUUU!!after very2 the long i nvr update my blog n here it goes...bnyk sgt nak update...so i cut it short n simple lah ye...so far my life has been UUUUUPPPP & dddooowwwnnn.......but den i'm still surviving hehe...so far so gd..syukuralhamdulillah....my lovely sister has engage..wuhuuuuu...at laz..wif her dream man of coz..a very nice engagement i muz say coz my sister look powweerr...i loike...there is some photos check it out now...ok till here 1st k wen i free i update any1 who is willing 2 read my crappy blog again k...hehehe..till den taking care n b gd..gtg gt a date wif my angel...hahakx..
signing of wif  kadik.. st andrews here we come....at last my medical n surgical posting is over....no more drips at least 4 the tyme being...hehe...but however i still miz ttsh tats where most of my skills is completed...our logbk given 2 our lecturer oready laz friday..+ our reflections s well..nw..its geron tyme..hahakx...st andrews where the place begin...ok we had our orientation done juz nw mrng...so sleepy like hell...the director or whoever she is was talking n i was like Zzzzzz....but nt the entire orientation lah..crazy is it...only like in the middle a bit here n there i doze off a while..s usual i can't tolerate lectures...make me sooo sleepy...ltr in the afternoon we had our karaoke session wif the amma n uncle...pakcik n makcik...n all tat is welcome..my members sang power...wuhuuu..hidden talent seh...i like..1 day we go karaoke k guys...hopefully...hehe...den at 4pm we goes off..bye st andrews c u again tmr n the day after n so on...until 3 wks k..btw my ward is hibiscus...so sweet gi2...hahakx...nw den i noe hw hibiscus look like..so stooopid of me..hehe..k lah gtg 1 2 releks after a sleepy day...take gd care pple...miz u... downtown east outing...happy bday kak syahidah!!!yeah2 dpt g downtown east...dah lame tak g sane in fac tak penah agaknye g downtown east..hehe..jakon lah konon ...the place was nicely done nw compare 2 few years back..its a nice place 4 family gathering but 4 beach scenery nah...east coast still the bes...n nt forgetting sentosa..1 of my fav hangging spot wif my frens...anyways,laz sat was a gd 1..kak ida n family + me juz stay 4 abt 40mins or so..den thought of going 2 the beach after tat but unfortunately the path 2 the beach is 2 dark n smehw we dun feel rite so we turn back n went hm...i slept at my aunt place ..nvr been more fun s always kecoh bile 3 kecoharable dah jumpe+kak idah skali..the best part is 2 anak n 1 mak kene april fool from chip kecik ni..hehe..jgn marah k..nanti kene jual...hehe..  do u still trust me???? tats wat goes 2 my head after reading ur blog...it went smoothly 4 almoz a wk..u trust me like wat u said..but nw wat eh?u dun trust me pulak like wat u said in ur blog....haiz...i ade buat salah eh...if i do within tis short period of time..plz indicate 2 me wat wen wrong...i got not much 2 say..coz i'll b waiting 4 ur kol hopefully u tell me wat i did wrong..haiyoo...pening loh gue...oklah gtg nk slp dah kul 1.48am hopefully everythg wen like hw we wen thru laz few days...coz i do trust u the way u trust me..ok take gd care n b gd...kol me if there's anythg lah eh..kadik outz... slack day...thanks lor.......waiting for the tyme 2 pass..it's only 9.29pm n at laz isetan staff fav. song was heard on th 'air'. it's a song as a signal to all customer tat isetan is closing. we were so damn bored. no customer even. while waiting...zilah n me was so fricking lazy 2 serve the customer tat was juz looking ard n wondering should i buy or nt..anyway dey can make their own choices unless of coz if dey ned our opinion we'll b looking forward 2 seve dem.zilah was singing n writing the lyricks on her joop counter whereas me i'm writing tis on a pice of paper at joop counter 2 beside her..n dis is wat she wrote....
selamat tinggal sayang
relakanku pergi
meninggalkan dirimu
yg ku kasihi
bukan niat ku syg
membuat kau terluka
namun terpaksa
sejarah cinta kita
tak mungkin berulang
walaupun kasih kita
seluas lautan
kita hanya merancang
tuhan menentukan
tak kesampaian
apalagi hendak dikata
jodoh kita telah pun tiada
setiap yg berkasihi
kita yg merintih
hati terseksa
ikutlah pilihan keluargamu
yg menentukan
jodoh buatmu
rintih2 usah ingat lagi
biar ku pergi....
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cepat benar engkau pergi
hujan masih belum berhenti
apakah benar soalan ku tadi
jiwamu terusik kini
oh....
sebagaiku kekasihmu
layak kah aku bertanya
sekuat mana lintamu
tiada kah insan lain
d hati mu...
syg bukan nya sehari dua
percintaan kita ini
kah di persudah dipatri
syg jgn ikut prasaan
marah jangan disimpan
ku hanya ingin menduga dan kini...
aku tahu...
satu kekasihku...
hanya kamu...
wats the ned of changing negatively??sun=work at isetan...if i wrk early shift can go out in the evening but moz of the tyme i wrk afternoon shift..so my sun is burn to wrk..hahakx..free tyme=sat depends on my mood 2 go out or b a hommie girl..but once i gt the $ tats it spending here i come..n usually i go out spending or chillin wif my sweet sister n listener...iluvpurple....tats ur nick dear..n i'm sure u noe its ur nick...sun 26/3/06 i find out tat my iluvpurple has totally change...where is the ilovepurple tat i noe b4 u broke up wif him??y muz u change juz 4 the sake of 4getting tat fucking jerk??!!y dear y??yes i did somethg tat drink wen i wanna 4get 'my' him laz tyme but after nor told me tat if i were 2 drink 30days of the food i ate is nt halal...according 2 agama ISLAM.. honey...plz 4 ur own sake n 4 the rez tat really care 4 u..dun do somethg stoopid juz 4 the sake of him..he dun even noe u r suffering coz of him..y muz u punish urself dear?y?i love u 4 who u r n i care n nag coz u're like my sis..I HATE MYSELF 4 NOT ABLE 2 GUIDE & B WITH U ALL THIS WHILE...IF ONLY I WASN'T TAT BZ..U WON'T B LIKE TIS I BLIEVE...n whoever tat encourage or told or say yes wenever u wanna drink i'm hating her 2 the core i'm telling u tis...IT HURTS ME 2 C U SUFFER BY DRINKING...U NOE THE SIN BUT U STILL DO IT EH??PLZ dear plz...drinking is really nt the solution..i've wen thru wat u wen thru 2..i noe its hard 2 let the 1 u love juz go like tat but u muz remember is he the only 1 in ur life tat u can dpend on 2 live each day..look ard u honey...many pple care 4 u..he?dun!u will find ur mr rite 1 day blieve me u will...juz tat nw its nt the tyme yet...ALLAH is giving u space 2 tink n test u whether u can survive without him..plz dun show him u r weak wifout him show him u r s strong and still surviving!
I'M NT GIVING UP NT U DEAR...NEVER!coz i noe u can b ur ownself back..its ur NAWAITU(heart) whether u wanna change or remain the way u r nw...I'LL B HERE NW N INSYA-ALLAH 4ever...holding u to the rite path nt go to the wrong path coz tats nt u iluvpurple...DUN CHANGE TO THE BAD 1 COZ I LOVE U JUZ THE WAY U R...STAY WHO U REALLY R &DUN CHANGE BCOZ OF TAT BLOODY FUCKING IDIOT!!ASSHOLE!!AAAARRRRGGGHHH!!i wish i could punch or bang someting nw...seriously!iluvpurple kadik hope u will always stay the same coz there's really nothg bout u tat i 1 2 change...n i rely miz the moment we spend 2gether like laz tyme...the way we slack,chill n juz b crazy..minum air soyabean 50c..remember?i miz tat..rely..nw u r always wif ur drink mate..i'm lost.alone.guilty.afraid. farewell ward10D at last i'm free from ward 10D!!!the staff there r very nice pple and shown teamwork..love wrking wif u all from staff nurses to assistant nurses to hca to healthcare workers...i'm gonna miz wrking wif u all..seriously...BUT 2 pple i hate 2 wrk wif the moz is s any1 noe both the abg n kakak at tat ward...haiyoo so leceh...mr bean always wif his infection control whereas akak slalu tanye diagnosis and sometimes pms...headache.thanks lor 4 both tis pple tat make our attachment there a disaster hell...now we r free from tat disaster n hopefully no one hunt us in future...hopefully after tis all our attachment wen s smooth and silky s baby's skin..wat the hell kadik..lame k..hahakx..k lah u all i'm like dozing off real soon..taking care n b gd k pple...love u ...peace.karya seorg teman...ayanaPernah sekali aku yakin yg kau mampu ku capai...Inginku membawamu ke landasan yg benar...Inginku bawamu bersamaku agar kau tidak jauh terpesong dalam kegelapan dan penderitaan tetapi ternyata cita2ku tidak membuahkan hasil...kau semakin jauh...
Seperti layang2 yg jauh terbang ke langit yg tinggi yg tak mampu ku capai lagi...
Tidak mampu aku menggapaimu lagi...
Aku tewas...
Seringkali ku nyatakan kasih
Hanya kau dihatiku
Jangan kau sangsikan lagi
Cinta yg suci ini
Seumpama lautan terbentang
Dalamnya tak terduga
Begitu cintaku ini tiap masa
------ayana------ seperation...seperation....
if u ever read tis i'm sure u noe who u r...i juz wanna let u noe that the care and love that comes from ur sis n me is sincere n truthful not the way tat u tink!u always say we nvr understand u but do u understand us..??do u??do u care bout us at all??i wonder.do u ever noe wen u really never appreciate our care and concern 2wards u..we r truly hurt soo deeply..y muz u do tis 2 us??u has left a deep cut in us..we try 2 help u all along but it seem like u nvr appreciate the things that we sacrifice 4 u..its painful for us 2 c u suffer in pain..y can't u let us help u..from strangers to frens to some1 i fall 4 and nw to.....??r we still frens or i'm juz ur past..u told me 2 get lost!!! but can u tell me y...?i reli 1 all tis complicated problem btw u,me n ur sis 2 get over with..i 1 everthg s per normal like hw it used 2 b wen u 1st gave me a wallet key chain which wrote i love u on it..like on the 1/1/06.dun tell me u forgotten it coz i noe u remember tat day...the day u bought ur white n red tshirt wif an s on it the tshirt tat i choose 4 u..i dun want it 2 b a memory.i 1 it 2 b a sory to b continue not a full stop 2 it...yes all of us move on but somehw deep inside in each of us we still ned each other..and i noe u noe it..u r juz in a denial stage..plz b honest 2 urself..till here take gd care and b gd...miz u...sorry 4 taking ur time in reading tis... especially 4 u....thanks n sorryHurting seperation...8/3/06
laz words frm a fren who u no more needed.... b wat u reli 1 2 b...dun pretend 2 b some1 else coz i noe deep inside u r nt wat u r nw...our love have demolished long ago n there won't b a 2nd 1 juz the way u 1 it 2 b...i hope u move on the rite track dun change urself..stay the same the 1 tat u reli r..doa kepada yg maha esa agar u dpt melalui sgala cabaran dan penderitaan yg u lalui skg dgn tabah..u will rase tenang trust me..i've tried 2 pull u thru but i failed hopefully u pulled urself up again k...ur sis n brother neds u...dun let dem suffer...sorry 4 everythg tat i've done 2 hurt u...everythg at all... till here....pls take gd care of urself,b gd...n i'll definately miz u n all the memories...nw everythg between us is juz left wif memories...u go ur way i'll go mine...if u ever ned some1 2 talk 2 u noe who u can find...
yours truly, kadik haf u ever??haf u ever love somebody so much it makes u cry?
haf u ever needed somethg so bad u can't slp at nite?
haf u ever tried 2 find the words but dey don't come out rite?
haf u ever been in love so bad u'll do anythg 2 make dem understand?
haf u ever haf someone steal ur heart away u'd gif anythg 2 make dem feel the same?
haf u ever searched for words 2 get u in their heart?
but i dun noe wat 2 say n i dun noe where 2 start?
haf u ever found the 1 u dream of all ur life u do juz abt anythg 2 look in2 their eyes?
haf u finally found the 1 u've given ur heart 2 only 2 find tat 1 u've given ur heart 2 u?
haf u ever closed ur eyes n dreamed tat dey were there?
n all u can do is wait 4 the day wen dey will care.......................
haf u ever loved by some1 who love u n the other party of the same sex s he is?
haf u ever lost ur love ones on the hands of the same sex s him?
its hurting...but it happened n i juz went thru it...a deep cut was left on my lil' heart..
a deep cut tat wil always stay s i nvr felt so deeply in love b4..
but thanks 2 some1 who nvr appreciate true love n left a marked in my heart..
thanks 4 the deep cut tat was left..a painful journey i went thru.........................
 its gathering time...!!went 2 mdm juliana's place..gathering 4 dancewrk members but turn out 2 b onli the 3 of us fariz,ainiyr2 n me + mariam n shikin my attachment members..it was fun thrilling thou...coz we watch shutters hahakx...somethg happen wen we otw 2 mdm juliana's place..it almoz spoilt our mood but somehw we gain it back but wen we tink bout it...i nvr thought it would happen..haiz..life full of trial an error..obstacles tears joy laughter but even if we fall down soo hard tat it breaks our back it doesn't mean we should gif up and run away frm it..u should stand uprite saying n convince 2 ur ownself u r able 2 do it n go thru it smoothly..everythg hapens 4 a reason...confidence n determination is the key 2 success afterall..   26/2/06-dancewrk performance @ marina squarehi any1 out there!!tis is my 1st entry ever..gettin xcited hehe..on 26feb we had our final performance at marina square..members involved are fariz,aini senior,nurul,me,nana,lia,bukh,aini junior,dini,indera,bet,mieza.we had a reli memorial & great time 2gether...i reli3 miz u guys..especially the training time.almoz everyday we met 4 practice n its has been going on 4 a mth or so..haiz..the mre i talk bout it the mre sad it seem..but i kip on tellin myself life gt 2 go on n since we haf each other contact no. we should kip in touch n nvr wil we 4get the time we spend aitz..we may mit tis sat n hopefully we make it 4 the after dancewrk gathering so called..hehe..looking 4ward 4 tis sat 4/2/06..miz n love u guys..plz take gd care n b gd..  |
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